Wednesday, July 30, 2008
9:04 PM loveeeeeeeee!
(Irfan's the one who is sitting staring blankly. with purple border) That is the awesomest thing on earth! The cutest drug i got in mind. The one who makes me go like " awwww. he's so cutee."
OMG! Doesn't it looks like i am craaaazyyy about him! Heh.
I am like so crazy and dumb and out of mind. I am no mood to study at all but i gotta study. I really have to. I am studying. But i just am not studying enough. I need so much more time and so much more effort to study my lungs and slog out the fuck in me. I dont know what i'm thinking and i also don't know what i think i'm gonna do if i flop. Oh god, N levels. I am sscareeeeed! It breaks me into tears at times when i think about it. Oh crap!
Okay! School has been rather harsh on students of this era. Being in this era is total hard shit crap and definitely alot more stressing than i thout it could get. Revising for maths has been in me for months but i don't see it improving at all! Urgh! Biology and Social Studies has been interests but recognising every single term that comes into the subject factor makes me lost in confusion which is sooo unacceptable for a person like me who is about to take N levels in less than a month.
Mr foo is somehow trying to motivate us indirectly i guess. Though i don't really favour him in my list, i somehow listen to what he has to say at times. It sometimes is making sense and it rings a bell after sometime. Think about it. I suppose it's just the right time i need to wake up to reality and face it has got in line for me. All the activities that's been happening is questionning my moral courage of facing my books and all that notes that i scribble. My nerves are about to burst in tears not knowing what to do and where to head.
Have you ever wondered why are we in this position? Is it because we can't cope up or we just don't want to cope. Maybe because the standard of all those books and syllabus is just wayyy of our head to combine it into our brain juices and getting it nailed inside of us will a millionaire's question to answer. My surrounding, all my other challenges are inside of me that i'm trying to face and cope with and make sure i sprint ahead all the way till i tap the finishing line and shout to whole world" i'm done with one. What now? and what's next ?"
However hard it was for me to tell someone that life was full off challenges, it really is hard to face reality because we will be in denial of whatever angst it throws against us. I always hoped that i had a heart of stone or maybe a heart that is as hard as the bark of the tree. Because anything can get carved but will never reach to the bottom of everythink. Don't you think so ?
All this typing is motivating me to study all i wan and give it all i have got. I really hope that i am strong enough to face everything that is going to be throwned at me. I will face it with whatever i got and give back any revenge which i think i can. In this case, i will give studies back a smile and say that i can't take any revenge as it has done me good. Cool aye ?
Alright. For now that'd be it. See ya soon and take care! Looooved!