Wednesday, January 09, 2008
9:41 PM
ever changing;
I started to realise that my strong posession over the people i really care is being a flaw in me. Alot of them told me to just let things be when people are keeping a distance from me just because they think that i care too much. They told me to wait for them to realise that i really care and like butterfly they will fly back to me.
How often do you get things like this. As in for people to be distancing themselves away from you just because you care for them too much kind of thing. I mean having everything too much is a flaw and becomes equivelant to poison. I am aware. I just can't seem to accept the fact that they just seem to be different. Distancing and avoiding is two different whole terms with similar concept. It's okay to be distancing away but i won't stand it if it was to avoiding. That is the whole matter.
All in all i shall just be myself and wait for their return. I guess that would be the best of all right ? On the other end i also realised my friendship with those i was close to has a space in between. All my friends who just graduating and are pursuing their studies in the ITE. Oh well, i know they'd success. As for another friend of mine she is stopping here and instead of the ITE, she is taking private Os. Im sure she'd make it big.
To be able to withstand all that pressure that she got to catch up with is just a challenging thing to overcome. As long she makes it through it'd be a good thing.
I was planning to actually meet up a old friend of mine. Who i haven;t met for a long time. He has been missing for wuite sometime but he was busy so i just had to understand as he has his own lifestyle to lead. So i decided to meet another friend of mine. To think about it, it was almost one whole year that we contacted each other, but i don't see a space between us that we've missed. It seems like we're updated about all the series of events that happened in between that period.
I suppose now that school has started, i am already dead tired having bodyaches every single day with no energy to continue. Besides, i feel the pressure of N levels already. I am so dead scared that i start to flip through whatever i have studied. Gosh. This is terribly scary that it makes me drop. Let's hope that i have this consistency till the end of the whole nightmare. I have a bigger nightmare next year. Oh crap!
I was just reflecting on whatever that happened the past few days and i started brainstorming about how i got to know my circle of friends wich i haven't actually figured out many of them yet. Something that i'd never forget is definitely the people that i put my heart and souls for. That will actually show how much i get treasure them. I'm definitely not so thick skinned to be approaching them and suddenly blurt something as weird as this.
Many things have changed in as the years pass by. I cry accepting the fact that i lost many people in my life who i actually respect with all my heart. I really hope i'd get back to that state of friendship where i'm able to save my friendship. If only i could turn back time. Isn't that what everyone says ?
Okay. I think i am starting to crap. I am contradicting with whatever i am writing. So i shall just end here. See you people around. Of course, not forgetting to remind you guys to keep those tags rolling in!
*Myself
Apparently, like what one of my love always point out to me.
People use this space to brag about how great god's creation is or telling the world how
much they detest their own race or religion or even start whining about how much they hate
their ugly girlfriend or boyfriend. I find it rather weird though. If that's the case, it defeats the title man!
How saddening to see them use illiterate brans with no enzyme juices to be squeezed out
because it seems to be typical man! Gosh! Anyhow, judge me for yourself.
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