Sunday, November 11, 2007
9:31 PM
does it hurts?
Just as i thought i could lift myself up by meeting people and slacking with them, things got worst.
However angry or mad i was, i am sure i wouldn't have done that. Unfortunately loved one had to do it in front of me like i was invincible.
How else do you think i should react if your loved ones are sitting all around you. One of them starts giving a return stare to a person who have been staring at them all the while. It was very hurting for me to watch. Besides having problems at home and work, they are out to give me more. I was worried enough when one of them told me that he was out of home for a night because something happened. I thought i could ask him today but in fact all of them as a while made me really disappointed.
All this while i have been talking to them and telling them what's right and wrong. I guess my words fell on deaf ears. The one i thought was the mature one just let me down. The one i thought who has learnt his lesson just let me down. The one i thought was not bothered with thsese stuffs let me down. Maybe i shan't blame the one who always go with the flow but the two who really let me down.
If you apologise and tell me that you would not do it again, then you must be sincere. What's the point of letting it go by the wind when you say it. What's the point of saying it when you don't mean it.
I witnessed it personally. They did not even bother to listen to me and in fact continued to make the issue bigger when i approached. How else do you expect me to react. Right now, im in mixed emotions. Why else would i be bothered to spend hours to both of you if i don't care and can't be bothered ? Why else would i try to advice and waste my time trying to make you guys understand. I dedicated care, time and everything else just to make sure you guys could understand.
I thought you guys have changed but now i have doubts about it. Is it that i am being too possesive or are they being too self centred ?
Even if you don't like people to look at you like that, then you shouldn't return the stare as it fumes people up too. Instead just ignore it and let it be. You'll realise that it's just a small matter. You guys contradict to whatever you guys sayy.
Just answer me. What else do you guys want to look out for ? How else do you guys want your loved ones to suffer ? In what way are you guys gonna hurt your loved ones once again? I've never lost hope and i never will unless you make me out to.
I was really disappointed. As i fight through this thunderstorm of problems, you guys drop another. It's painful. Its really painful. I saw it in front of my eyes. I thought i told you guys upteen times about this. Did you guys ever appreaciate me and listen to me all this while?
Howeve mature i thought you guys were. However loads i thought you guys have changed. It all seems to be just a illusion. Im really dissapointed. Now, do you guys really mean it when you guys told me that you won't do it again ? I seriously didn't see this coming and i never will. I still think that you guys are just using me for your happiness instead of my sincere friendship. How hurting...
Well, whatever it is, this is the kind of situation i cry to when i reflect. This tottaly upsets me.