Wednesday, March 21, 2007
7:44 PM
you'd never understand.
How ironic can things get ?
How contradicting ?
It feels like being thrown into a lecture hall
with thousands of people in there and people are staring at you like you're lost. But in fact you are actually lost which possible you don't know. Trying to ring a bell to the question "Just who am i ?"
But in my situation, it's slightly different. I ask myself" Just who am i to you ? " or " Just who am i without you ?"
I would be more than willing to make things up to you. For somewhat reasons, im rather devastated. You moved away just to avoid to get a ______ from me ? If you wanna know, i said ouch without you being able to hear.
My day today was like any other.
Nothing special happened.
As for usual, the same cold war treatment.What'd you say if i apologise ? What'd you say if i _____ you ?
Push me and say get your _______ off me and back off me .
It feels like living in darkness. Put through agony,pain and evil. This eccentric feeling in my heart. It gets specific yet so vague. How do you expect me to react ? Are we just gonna end things this way ? No talk No actions No movements .
I know my day would suck each time i open my eyes out of the coffin. I know it will. There may be many folks but there's only one you. I miss those unfailing sympathy of yours. The used to be bright and crowded street i used to walk is now so quiet left with only me to walk alone. I knew,know and willl know how it feels. I've been put through this before. The crowded place is now nothing but a desert; i walk in complete solitude. I miss that gleam in the eyes of yours. When the daylight fades away, i miss it when you used to hug me and say " give me a call tonight. i'd play you the guitar." I cry thinking that everyone is there for me; because i know it brings everyone and not you. Everyone except you. I miss those tickling sensation when u used to poke my hips. I used to hate it, now that you don't do it anymore, i love it everytime i think about it. I'm loving it more and more. Each time i see you smile i cry even more . In joy and in pain.
Joy because i get to know that you are happy. In pain because u are not there to share those smiles and laughters with me. Oh how i wish i could turn back time and let it be like it was. Now there's so much contraints. Terrible.
Let's drop this.
Dance was oh-so-well-done in terms of choreography. We still got a long way to go for synchronisation, energy and stuffs like that. I was thinking of finishing choreography then brush up on the rest. Atiqah was offering me to dance at Crescent. I'm not sure if i want. We'd see about that later. Good Job RIK.
Huda made a fool of herself this morning during Maths. So embarassing.
Now the most important part before i end this post.
Happy Birthday Amirul Syahmi Bin Kamal.
I hope i satisfied you with the present i gave u ya ?
=)).
Guys!
im out.
i did not see kyms today and im already missing her voice and laughter. Guess we're very attached now. hmmf.ILMF.