Tuesday, March 20, 2007
7:38 PM
unbreak my heart;
Statement 1: Today was great .
Rejected; Not true.
Statement 2: Today was neutral.
Rejected; Not true.
Statement 3: Today was bad.
Rejected; Not true.
Just what is true ?
Today was great because
someone talked to me.Missing that voice so much.Today was neutral because good and bad happened.
Today was bad because
i don't know what's wrong with someone,and also because i was pushed away for a ________;It looks as though you're letting go.
For all i know, i want to be there with you.
Even if you're driving a lorry and you're taking a risky
maneuvour i would not let go of my hand help you with driving.
I was looking out the window yesterday,
i saw this scene.
Two guys quarreling.
They seem to be gangsters.
I'm sure they are close friends.
They were quarelling over god knows what.
I was looking into they're eyes.
All i could see was sincerity.
I bet they were waiting for one of them to say,
"It's my fault. Lets stop this. Give me a hug man."
I was waiting for them to stop and they did.
One of the guy shouted, " YES! it's my fault. Im sorry"
I am not quite sure if he was crying as it was dark.
Imagine gangsters having a soft side.
The other guy then said, "but at least we managed to settle this right ?"
The conclusion was, they hugged each other and walked till the void deck and continued
they're hang out session.
Sweet right ?
My reaction went bonkers.
I could see spring bouncing out.
I was thinking if we could settle things.
But of course, in a better manner.
And end up hugging each other whispering in the ears,
" Let's pray god won't put us through this again."
Won't it just be great ?
On the other hand,
the day today was like any other.
Had dance after school.
Perfection would be done after completing the choreography tomorrow.
I HOPE!
AMIRUL SYAHMI BIN KAMALhappy birthday in about 4 hours time ?
you're turning 15.
May all your wishes and dreams come true.
Think positive.
IM HERE !
rmb BRUDDER ?
Moving on.
I was reading some articles on the net.
Updating myself with recent happenings in the world.
One of the articles i read was headed "Teenage girl killed emotionally."
She had a tiff with her friend who she was really close to.
She could not take the blow that she went crazy.
Nothing calmed her down.
Not even drugs.
She ended up dying a natural death.
This happened in Turkey.
She was only 13.
Its amazing how god puts an end to someone's
life like this.
Friends can play a huge part of your life.
You may never know who is your best friend.
I was wondering to myself if i would be put through this kind of situation.
Ending up to die naturally.
Since i prioritise my friends first,
how would i ever know i will not.
i just hope not.
A friend of mine said this to me after hearing my stories.
"You've been suffering since young yasin. I don't want you to suffer anymore.
I hope i can be a pillar of trust to you."
I'm glad to hear that from someone who was just a colleaque to me.
Right now, someone close to my heart.
I managed to learn alot recently.
I learnt that, it is easy to make people hate you;
Hard to make people love you;
I was refreshing my mind,
clicked on the archives button.
I could remember that sweet promise
" No secrets between us"
I took it for real.
My friend told me that.
A great friend.
Brother i can say.
He confessed and confided alot to me.
Things seem to be different now.
I just hope he's fine.
I just hope he knows i'd be there for him if he want.
Another promise from another brother was
"Things are going to be the same. Don't worry."
I was praying to myself it will though i knew it won't.
In far distance i saw him,
on his bicycle but i did not call out his name.
I knew he would not be able to hear and can't be bothered to stop.
Im trying my very best to understand.
At random if you realise,
We're soaring,
trying to make the est of us.
To make our social circle bigger.
What we humans all don't realise is that
No matter how much we soar,
there's never a limit.
We can fly up to the sky, universe and wherever.
I take everyday as a lesson.
I tried my best to make everyone happy.
Lend a listening ear.
Gave them a shoulder to cry on.
Gave a warm hug to make them feel loved and appreaciated.
We used to sit at Mac at limbang after school.
Share what happened recently.
Hid nothing from each other.
Not even a second would there be a patch in our friendship.
It seems to get different right now.
I feel useless as a friend.
Not being able to do anything.
I just want to tell someone out there who has always been my brother.
I know you want me to fuck the hell out of your life.
I can't help it but to say this.
You should know that i care.
You should know that i have never hated you.
You should know that i have always tried my best to lift you up
when you were down.
You should know that i wanted to hug you to show you that you're close to my heart
and i want to keep you warm from exposing to the political world outside.
I wanted to kiss you to show you that you play an important part of my life.
I cried for you when you punched the wall because i wanted you to know
that it hurts me to see those knuckles till now.
I cried for you when you were about to leave for a camp because i was scared
of your safety.
I was scared of leading a life without you by my side.
I sacrifised my rest time and travelled to kembangan for silat practice just to pray
and doa for you and some others.
I prayed for your safety, happiness and health.
I had sleepless night because i was thinking how long this cold war was going to last.
I want to talk to you because i want to let you know how much i miss hearing your voice.
I want to remain close as before i accept you for who you are.
I want to hear out your problems and want you to tell me every single thing that you
havein heart,mind because i don't want you to be put through life alone as i want to go through everything with you.
I've never seen you and i would never want to see u cry because i will tear my head apart seeing that scene.
I am missing you more and more as the days go.
I am turning to god remembering kyms words and want you to forgive me so badly.
For whatever i did.
I am sorry for making you hate me.
I know you know that this is all about you.
I want you to know.
How much you play in my life.
Where you stand in my life.
I was willing to give up anything for you.
Even when it came for love.
I was praying that i'd keep you and her in my arms and never let you go.
I'd do anything to have you back in my life.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
You know everybody makes mistakes.
so please don't ask me to get the hell out of your life.
I am willing to get down on my knees if you want me to.
I am willing to cry over and over again for you.
I am willing to dedicate my blood of the slits on my hand for you.
I am willing to carve an apology on my hand.
I don't want to forget how you were there for me.
I don't want to forget when you always kept asking me if i am okay.
I don't want to forget your laughters.
I dont want to forget when u said we will never be seperated.
I dont want to forget when u said u miss me.
All this i have confessed.
i can keep going.
Lets settle this please ?
Just us first.
please.
I guess im done.
sorry for the longs post.
Bye