Monday, February 12, 2007
7:27 PM
Chances;
what am i to do with my life ?
how am i supposed to noe wads rite ?
i cant help the way i feel .
for somewhat reasons,
i was smiling like nth ever happened.
why am i acting.
when im tearing in the shadows.
this really got me questioning.
before anything, im sorry.
im sorry for anything for everything.
but i am certain.
this time u guys hurt me real bad again.
though my mind was made up alr,
i dunnoe why i reacted this way.
i ended crying alone.
and was watching people
playing with water.
happily.
very sweet and loving.
and i realize it wouldn't make much difference.
yet again.
i was saying the same thing time and again.
im really absorbing too much.
and im so not unloading it.
FUCK ?
im angry and sad.
but i don't noe wadsup with the laughters
and smile with them.
i noe alotta people are gonna read.
but its my wish wad i wanna state here.
HURT ?
im sorry.
and yeah.
everyone's well with athirah.
and end up i always hafta give in .
its not only u guys u noe.
i am not really sure why i am saying this.
but im hurt enough lar.
i cannot take this anymore la.
reza keep telling me thanks again and again.
but wad for if u keep doing this over and over again.
sometimes i wonder if we are really meant to be friends.
cos i dunnoe.
it pierces u noe.
and who can i turn to.
i no longer can confide into my lovebird.
cos she would then be a centre person.
so i dun wanna make it that way.
seriously huda,
i noe u will read this.
but it is the truth.
i care.
and so i dun wanna put u in a tough position.
so i dun wanna confide into u nimore.
at least if it got sumtink to do with HIM or THEM!
i dunnoe.
but its killing me.
URGH!
im out !
i seriously am still considering if ive to walk outof ur lives.when all of u guys said that before,were u guys just joking or were u guysreally meaning it ?let me be the one absorbing all the hurt and tearalone.all im asking is for god to give me some answersto all these questions.im hurt.and im certain.bye.