Monday, February 05, 2007
8:33 PM
am i still alive ?
the world DOES turn me down.
and im positively sure of that.
sympathising me is definitely
not a matter to give a second thought.
cos i need NO SYMPATHY!
hearing this rythm of the piano.
i sit beside the window looking
at people enjoying themselves.
with my tears rolling down my cheeks
i shut my mouth and keep smiling like nothing happened.
so much have happened recently.
ive been keeping it with no tears.
but i can no longer hold on.
no one noes about this
NOT EVEN A SINGLE SOUL EXCEPT ME.
cos i got no one to turn to.
huda has zul to takkaire of.
and vice versa.
and so on .
so yeah.
i tink im prepared
for whatever my instincts is saying.
i am prepared.
i trust my instinct.
though itd be hard to accept the fact,
let it be.
my mood was down.
but i smiled.
just to make people around me smile.
its hard to go through this.
this scars is a memory of the past.
instead of healing,
i can only see new frsh wounds bleeding
one on top of another.
im worried.
im sick.
im sad.
im mad.
im in mixed emotions.
im super worried.
but let it be
let it be MY FAULT.
im super guilty.
lets not change things.
ITS MY FAULT.
can we work it out this time ?
i dunt tink i want to.
make em stop crying,
cos alot need em around.
thats what everyone tells me.
this is a sincere help i did.
i don't know why i am crying.
don't ask.
im lost in this story line.
how worse can things get.
in this zone of light.
each lampost i past it blacks out.
i press the stop button.
it doesnt stop.
i try restarting but it still doesnt.
cos everythings done and cant be undone.
right now hoggin on the phone.
everythings hurting me.
im thinking about those times.
when everything used to be oh so alright.
i really dont know whats happening.
this instruments that plays in my ear.
as tears roll down.
OUCH!
i cry to myself.
i guess i got nothing else to say.
FUCKSHITS !
OUCH !