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im missing your presence...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


9:00 PM

suck-ed;
then i started asking myself.
why must i feel all this pain even in
the last frame of the story.
even though the stories gonna end, why must
i go through all these?

u said i am controlling u.
fine.
i admit it.
but guess what?
thats because i care for you rite ?

then u ask me why can i carve and you cant.
thats cos i care.
but who cares for me.
some of ur problems are getting better.
but how are mine ??

u said u were angry.
angry cos im ruling ur life.
u noe wad?
seeing u carve urself hurts me if it doesnt hurt u.
why?
i dunt noe.
thats me.
thats the reason why i asked u to avoid me.
cos i noe fer sure i cant avoid you.
its hard.
but itd be easier for you.

im not saying this cos i hate you.
its because I LOVE you.
seriously.
just imagine how much ive treasured u so far.
just imagine how much i teared for u so far.
have u asked urself why?
YES. the ans is I CARE.
and i AM willing to sacrifise stuffs.

tell me why i told u abt IT.
i told u cos i wanted u to noe FIRST.
i told u cos i promised no secrets.
its true.
i haf secrets still.
but im just nt readi to tell u yet.
and its only ONE.
that ONE.
that is why i din let u see when i rite on the table.
i will tell u tmr.
seriously.

for sure i noe ure not gonna read this.
but i cant stand it.
u said u were lost and alone.
dun u tink I feel LOST n ALONE.
ive been feeling lost for years.
ive been feeling alone for YEARS.
and ive been enduring it.
and I know that ive lasted till her all bcos of FRIENDS.
and thats a FACT.
i noe it.

and IM SORRY.
im sorry this.
im sorry for that.
im sorry for meeting you.
im sorry for everything.
cos if u havent met me then
everything wouldnt haf bin this way.

seen me happy in school huh ?
yupp.
like u said.
ure happy outside but tearing inside.
but im happy outside but dying inside.
i could always feel that spear pierce through my heart.
and make a slow maneuveur.

guess u still haven realised how much i treasure you.
its okay.
in total,
i hope u understand and im sorry.
lastly, thanks.
THANKS fer everything.

so guys todae sucked.
yesterday sucked.
totally.
im not being a great friend.
i got to continue smiling.
cos for the past few days i haf people asking me
questions.
i cant stand it.
everyones needing me and im just staring at them?
looking at them.
as though im being cornered by four walls.

is it true ?
yeah.
guess i should just leave.
guess i shouldnt be fighting this.
i tink i should be leaving this alone.
i guess i should let it conquer me.
cos it pains me to continue this.
i swear.
everyone out there. i noe i suck.
im so sorry alright.

for now i guess thats it.
gud baii.

*Myself

Apparently, like what one of my love always point out to me. People use this space to brag about how great god's creation is or telling the world how much they detest their own race or religion or even start whining about how much they hate their ugly girlfriend or boyfriend. I find it rather weird though. If that's the case, it defeats the title man! How saddening to see them use illiterate brans with no enzyme juices to be squeezed out because it seems to be typical man! Gosh! Anyhow, judge me for yourself.

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