Wednesday, October 04, 2006
9:00 PM
suck-ed;
then i started asking myself.
why must i feel all this pain even in
the last frame of the story.
even though the stories gonna end, why must
i go through all these?
u said i am controlling u.
fine.
i admit it.
but guess what?
thats because i care for you rite ?
then u ask me why can i carve and you cant.
thats cos i care.
but who cares for me.
some of ur problems are getting better.
but how are mine ??
u said u were angry.
angry cos im ruling ur life.
u noe wad?
seeing u carve urself hurts me if it doesnt hurt u.
why?
i dunt noe.
thats me.
thats the reason why i asked u to avoid me.
cos i noe fer sure i cant avoid you.
its hard.
but itd be easier for you.
im not saying this cos i hate you.
its because I LOVE you.
seriously.
just imagine how much ive treasured u so far.
just imagine how much i teared for u so far.
have u asked urself why?
YES. the ans is I CARE.
and i AM willing to sacrifise stuffs.
tell me why i told u abt IT.
i told u cos i wanted u to noe FIRST.
i told u cos i promised no secrets.
its true.
i haf secrets still.
but im just nt readi to tell u yet.
and its only ONE.
that ONE.
that is why i din let u see when i rite on the table.
i will tell u tmr.
seriously.
for sure i noe ure not gonna read this.
but i cant stand it.
u said u were lost and alone.
dun u tink I feel LOST n ALONE.
ive been feeling lost for years.
ive been feeling alone for YEARS.
and ive been enduring it.
and I know that ive lasted till her all bcos of FRIENDS.
and thats a FACT.
i noe it.
and IM SORRY.
im sorry this.
im sorry for that.
im sorry for meeting you.
im sorry for everything.
cos if u havent met me then
everything wouldnt haf bin this way.
seen me happy in school huh ?
yupp.
like u said.
ure happy outside but tearing inside.
but im happy outside but dying inside.
i could always feel that spear pierce through my heart.
and make a slow maneuveur.
guess u still haven realised how much i treasure you.
its okay.
in total,
i hope u understand and im sorry.
lastly, thanks.
THANKS fer everything.
so guys todae sucked.
yesterday sucked.
totally.
im not being a great friend.
i got to continue smiling.
cos for the past few days i haf people asking me
questions.
i cant stand it.
everyones needing me and im just staring at them?
looking at them.
as though im being cornered by four walls.
is it true ?
yeah.
guess i should just leave.
guess i shouldnt be fighting this.
i tink i should be leaving this alone.
i guess i should let it conquer me.
cos it pains me to continue this.
i swear.
everyone out there. i noe i suck.
im so sorry alright.
for now i guess thats it.
gud baii.