Friday, September 22, 2006
12:59 PM
nail-ed;
it pains me.
many things have happened recently.
alright. so here it goes.
so today is 21st Sept.
and i like TOTTALY didnt buy adi
a burfdae present.
HAPPIE BURFDAE TO YOU!
HAPPIE BURFDAE TO YOU!
HAPPIE BURFDAE TO ADI!
HAPPIE BURFDAE TO YOU!
may all your dreams come true.
he already 17. wow.
right.
so zul is not getting any better.
rahimi is not getting any better.
ahmad is not listening to me.
huda is more problems.
syahmi is dipped in problems as well.
syairah is wayyyyy out of my hands.
isnin is needing my help.
athirah is turning upside down.
dinah is going crazy.
arif is like really pitiful.
on top of these are my OWN problems.
like not even a SINGLE soul knows everything.
except zul.
haiz.
what do i do ??
i feel super shitty.
no one knows.
there are too many questions.
not a single answers.
i have been asking myself recently.
who has been always there for me.
i cant agree more except zul.
why?
i seriously dunt knoe.
hes always there to help me.
and i really appreaciate it loads.
i feel super guilty whenever i make him or stuff.
i mean i do feel guilty if i make anyone angry but
i feel zuper guilty if it was him.
friends can be the best things in the world.
yet the worst things.
i agree.
though zul is always there for me,
he hurts me at times too.
but i never told him.
because in my whole life,
no one has ever helped me as much as him.
no one has adviced me so much before.
no one knows ALL my secrets before.
I MEAN ALL.
i dunnoe if he shares really ALL his secrets with me.
but i dunt nid love to show love.
YUPP.
so my habit is started.
haiz.
was it all because of this stress.
i just hope everyone prays for my studies.
haiz.
god please save me.
it pains.
i dunnoe.
but it just hurts me.
im sure i dunt noe why.
it still pierce in my heart.
the fact that friends hurt me.
i feel so useles.
for not helping everyone and just staring at them.
im trying to be happy.
but i just seem to be getting worst.
everynight just before i sleep.
i wipe my tears telling myself that its just a dream.
when i told zul abt it, he asked me if i cried ytd night.
well i didnt ans him.
why suddenly this deep thoughts??
i dunnoe.
i feel so useless.
looking myself at the mirror feels like
looking at useless friend.
then people start saying im emotional.
u noe why is that so ?
its because i cant control my emotions.
its too much to control.
its too much to handle.
say whatever you want.
cos i noe im not accepted by my surrounding.
YES! i noe those sec 2 peeps are like
" i am an ANTI-YASIN-ian"
i noe ive been useless.
very useless.
i noe this is very long.
nahh.
dont bother to read this.
cos i noe u cant be bothered.
yah.
so gud bye.